BY CARA PHILLIPS

This week on the pearl exchange we are focusing upon pride and identity, combining self-love and self-hatred. For this piece, I have decided to centre my attention on the specific components of self-love and hate.

So, what is self-love?

The dictionary defines it as a “regard for one’s own well-being and happiness”. Although, I believe the term has a much deeper meaning than that. Self-love, to me, seems like a faraway dream. A utopia that runs through the soul; where every ounce of your being and psyche are at peace, and you are the most productive, kind, understanding, stable, person you could possibly be. Now, of course, this true and consuming self-love I speak of is the final step in a journey of self-understanding, analysis, and acceptance that many take a lifetime to obtain – for some, a lifetime is not nearly long enough.

However, along this journey, we must listen to the devil on our shoulder. We must analyse ourselves and understand our inadequacies, so that we may improve and become a closer representation of the person we wish to be.

This is where self-hatred comes in.

But, what is self-hatred?

The dictionary defines this beast of the mind as the “intense dislike of oneself”. Now, this dictionary definition is far more accurate, yet it doesn’t fully encapsulate the true extent of self-hatred; the dark and foreboding places filled with emptiness, despair, and a wormhole of self-annihilation; the destruction self-hatred can bring to individuals and the networks of people in their life; the pain and suffering that accompanies it; the dark cloud crushing all signs of hope.

Nevertheless, we need to hate ourselves a little bit!

Check this:

Can you honestly say you love every inch of your physical and mental self?

Can you honestly say you hate every inch of your physical and mental self?

The true answer to both of these questions is NO!

There is always room for improvement.

There is always room for change.

There is always room for a little love.

To say you truly hate yourself is to say that you hate your past-self, present-self, and potential-self.

When, to truly love yourself, you must learn from your past-self, accept your present-self, and do everything within your power to fulfil your potential.

To conclude; self-love and self-hatred would not have the inconceivable powers to inspire and destroy without the other; as you cannot conceive hatred of oneself, without first knowing love of oneself. Therefore, to find peace, we must love those around us, whom will love us back, and in turn, we will end up loving ourselves.

“Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today”

– Dr Jordan B Peterson